It has been commented in the past that the majority of my music writing errs on the positive side – which is mainly true. I don't like putting loads of negative reviews online – mainly because I'd rather emphasise the good, and partly because, it appears, some artists don't like hearing bad reviews.
Still, of late I've seen/heard a fair amount of music on the various music channels we have on cable – and I'll be honest, some of it bugs the shit out of me. So, it's time for a rundown of the music that really is pissing me off right now. Alternatively titled, "adam starts shooting fish in a barrel". The usual disclaimer applies in times like these – what I dislike may well be what you love, but that's just the way it goes. Still, this is my opinion, but you'll get your chance in the poll below…
Indeed: not for a while has a track been so aptly titled – at least when you first hear it. The second, third and god-only-knows-how-many-times more just make you want to shout "MAKE IT STOP". Yep, it's another attempt at metal band does acoustic lament. And truly, it's fucking awful. I'll leave the last word on this to Daisy: "Makes Disturbed's new single sound like a work of genius"
Inside The Fire
Speaking of which…fuck, it's like nu-metal never left us. Or perhaps, in Disturbed's own little corner of the world, it never actually has. One thing I have to tip my hat to over Disturbed – they ignore the (lengthy) negative press they get and just keep ploughing their furrow, and still sell shitloads of CDs (at least five million so far of all their material, according to their wiki discography). On the evidence of this new song, though, I'm struggling to see how. Nothing has changed since the first album. Moving on…
Leave Out All the Rest
What is it with these bands left over from the days of nu-metal? At least Linkin Park have evolved a bit, I guess, spreading their wings into collaborations with rap stars, remixes and selling fucktons of CDs. So why are all their singles nowadays so sodding dull, including this one? Flashy video, fuck all substance. How they've apparently sold over 40 million albums is beyond me…
And talking of flashy videos…what do you get if you mix a film star, some high cheekbones, a major label deal and a whole dose of emo angst? Well, going on this lot you appear to get a worthy but unremarkable band who have a vast budget for their videos, and seem to get their videos played every hour. On each fucking channel. Couldn't someone have left them in the Arctic?
Scream Aim Fire
Seemingly being touted as the UK's greatest metal act, however recent single Scream Aim Fire manages to pull off being a rip off of two songs. Judas Priest's Breaking the Law and Machine Head's Davidian. Both of which are legendary tracks. This, however, is not. Their success when so many better (British) metal bands have barely registered on the radar of the likes of Kerrang is utterly mystifying.
Just when you thought that fucking "ironic" single Rockstar couldn't get any more fucking ubiquitous, DFS use it in their latest adverts. It was in the UK Top 40 singles chart for eight months [source], and the music channels simply won't stop fucking playing it. Nickelback are all that is wrong about mainstream rock. Plundering all their musical ideas and images from bands that blazed a trail before them, but without any iota of the charisma or appeal, this cold and calculated approach has seen them sell close to 30 million records. How?
That's Not My Name
The slightly unsavoury wankfest over this lot in the indie press earlier in the year was fun to watch – the latest saviours of music, according to the NME and others. Great – so another singer wanting desperately to be Debbie Harry and singing nonsensical lyrics (I'm half expecting this song, which just seems to be a list of the names that she is called, to be up for an Ivor Novello award or something next) is the best we can get. Some might say it's catchy, but then, so are many diseases. Oh, and what's with the band name? Could nothing better be thought of?
There is just something about Kate Nash that really rubs me up the wrong way. I can't put my finger on what it is – it's probably everything. But in particular, her "mockney" singing voice, the shitty lyrics (altogether now: "…said I must eat so many lemons/cause I am so bit-tah"), the unbelievably twee tunes…
Have I Been A Fool
What is it with these fucking mockneys? Here's another one, who strikes me as the male version of Kate Nash. Not quite so annoying, perhaps, but almost all of his songs – including this one – fade into the background like particularly dull wallpaper, with nothing of merit to say about it. Again, how the NME championed this guy like he was the future…I'm not sure who it makes look worse.
…and rather than a tenth item, I'm going to leave it open to you lot.